Cashier: That'll be $4.03

Me: I only have $4...

Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents

Me: ...........

Cashier: ........

Me: what are we?

ignite-mylove-ignite:

ligerscout:

ligerscout:

Ready for April fools day
Gonna take it to school and eat it

I ate 3/4 of the jar and I made 3 teachers gag and one friend get angry at me.

fuck bro, I thought you were gunna fill all those cups with mayonnaise and hand them out at school and some serious shit was gunna go down

peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

veryraresecrete:

aktx:

tarntino:

me: *sees a white boy* *locks my car doors*

white boy: *knocks on window* what would you be doing if I was in there with you ;)

white boy: *pops your tires w/ my strong front teeth and goes for the kill*

image

truedragonnutz:

dialupmodem:

whosfuckingbad:

maltese-vulcan:

french-verbz:

Well now I can correctly moonwalk away from uncomfortable situations

Because everyone deserves to know how to do a mean moonwalk.

guYS THIS IS IMPORTANT

its not important

Important

(Source: alexbam2006)

wow-suchbree-veryblog:

blvckshogun:

theairtonight:

venus-meanest:

pas-une-ange:

relevant

People love to forget Michael Jackson’s blackness

people love to think that Michael Jackson forgot his blackness

People love to pretend to forget that Michael Jackson’s autopsy results showed that he DID have a skin disease and never “dyed” his skin.

(Source: -intheround)

dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you